Wednesday, August 17, 2011

From Caden

The baddest thing ever is old people dancing.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Saturday, August 13, 2011

From Eli, Brianna's "friend"

I'm crushing everything today. Your heart, your dreams, your arm, your foot.

Friday, August 12, 2011

From Michaela

Yesterday my talk teacher came over cause I have real problems in my life.

From Ethan

Who wants to touch a man's underwear?

From Hali

Do you think hobos can get cable?

Thursday, August 11, 2011

A Glossary of Matt-isms

Places that Matt stops on the way to work:

Checkered closet: Plaid Pantry
Safety: Safeway
Underground railroad: Subway
Scottish farm: McDonald's
William Wallace's neighbor: McDonald

From Evan, in the style of Matt
Wormy byproduct: Silk

Catching Up

I have a bunch of quotes that need to be added, but I'm going to add them all together instead of giving each one its own post.

From Connie
Your butt is not a stop sign.

From TayTay
I pimped my name.

From Mindy, Brianna and Evan
Mindy: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Brianna: A baby.  Or I want to work with crazy people or people with mental illness.
Evan: So you want to be a teacher?

From Audrey
Me and my Filipino friend went...
(5 minutes later) Me and my jalapeno friend...

From Jakob
Watch out, I'm levitating!

From Nick
Puke can be blue.

From Kayden, about Mountain Dew
That stuff tastes like floor wax.

From Connie
That was so not frozing!

From Matt
I'm really working on not being judgmental, but some people make it really difficult.

From Lindsay, to the zebra
Hi, you cutie pie!

From Schumann, singing
I touched a bird and I like it.

From Jaden and Schumann
Jaden: Where did you just take that?
Schumann: I took that to the next level.

From Jaden
The dinosaur just mooned us!

From Nick
I don't want to eat sugar-covered poo.

From Mrs. Bleth
Don't pull on each others' lips.

From Lola, my in-laws' GPS
In .1 miles, continue straight.

From the guy in the booth behind us at breakfast
A guy should have some proper swim shorts.

From Michaela
You know what really bothers me? That we have to walk everywhere. Why don't we all have jet packs!

From Jada
My mom is 60, and she's still alive!

From Jaden
I went to the Arctic with my grandma and it's freezing cold.

From Nathan, about the T. Rex
I finally get to see Mr. Grumpy Pants!

From Caroleana
I would not go on TV for that; I would humilify myself.

From Hillary, kicking her foot to the side and shaking her head
This is supposed to help get water out of your ear.

From Jakob
You should have seen how much water just came out of my pants!

From Tarren
My leg popped the wrong way and that saved my life.

From Michaela
I only have three powers: how to make friends, how to make people make friends, and how to make candy.

From Evan
When is the last time your mom said, "Honey, could you go out and warm up the unicorn for me"?

From Cole and Isaac
Cole: My butt has powers.
Isaac: My butt is stronger.
Cole and Isaac: Whooooooooo!

From Langston
I want to find the beaver and give it a dollar fifty.  Maybe it'll give me a stuffed beaver from the beaver vending machine.

From Sierra
I don't like her! I will kick her in the butt and give her a wedgie.

From Braeden, about the ends of his gimp
Wow, these things want to murder me.

From Mike
I wish my dad cared.  My dad is the laziest lazy person in the world.  He is always late.

From TayTay, singing
Do you ever feel
Like a piece of pie
Getting eaten by
A really random guy

From Anya
If this were really Happy Valley, you would think that they would make the park and especially the bathrooms happier.

From Schumann
Connie, I need a spanking.

From Hailee
I need root beer or else I'll die because of baldness.

Quotes from History

These are quotes from the summer of 2010 and the past school year.

From Evan
Everyone needs a little ghetto in their life.

From Matt and Meliah
Matt: My family is distantly related to Abraham Lincoln.
Meliah: But you never actually met him though, right?

From Ava
Hi bear, you're the peanut to my butter

From the the TV show Lark Rise to Candleford
My dear lady, we are all at the mercy of our undergarments.

From Lisa and Evan
Lisa: Look at the pretty sunset.
Evan: If Eric was here and he had a girlfriend, he would talk about his feelings and stuff.

From Lisa
I'd marry cheese if I wasn't already so in love with the new common core curriculum standards.

Monday, August 8, 2011